Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Moonwalker (Jerry Kramer, 1988) Review
After a series of videos display Michael Jackson's ego (really, that's all it is), we get into the main story which sees Michael Jackson (played by Bob Hoskins....okay, he plays himself) playing in a field with a bunch of children (this sounds...risky). After their dog runs off, Michael and some of the children end up discovering a drug lord named Mr. Big (Joe Pesci) who comes up with a scheme to get kids hooked on drugs. Michael, through the use of his magic powers (how many of you close this web page just then), attempts to outwit Big and put and end to his drug reign.
Yeah, about what I said earlier...it's not good, at all. Well, there are one or two things that I do enjoy such as the amazingly awesome Smooth Criminal segment (the only reason to watch it...just YouTube it) and I did enjoy the music used...and that's all the good stuff. Let's being with the bad stuff. (Ahem) Michael Jackson can't act, the children do nothing, Joe Pesci just shouts the whole time, the songs are phoned in to the film, the songs take up for time than narrative, the effects scare me (the stop frame is just terrifying) and..it's just crap.
I've basically summed up the film but I'll go on. This film is a perfect example of someone stroking their own ego. I guess it is justified considering how massive Michael Jackson was but watching it now is...awkward...to say the least. I don't understand why singers think they need films based on them made. At least this was unique because it wasn't a documentary (I hope) unlike other films in this genre (what ever genre this may be).
Moonwalker is certainly an...interesting film. It's one of the many reasons that Michael Jackson went from famous to infamous (thank you Mr. Jameson) and is, quite simply, a load of crap. The only thing that makes it worth while is the Smooth Criminal video (which is somewhat plot relevant...kind of...not really) and even then you could just look it up rather than sit through this crap fest! Not the worst film I've ever seen but that's not really saying much...at all.
A terrible attempt to boost Michael Jackson's ego with a terrible narrative, wasted screen time and useless characters.